The Live Stream

A biography of Tim, by Lindsay

Tim and I met at work, at Merricks in Ipswich, in 1992. I had joined the firm in June, and Tim, who had previously been employed there as a paralegal, returned from Law School as a trainee solicitor in August. We got along well from the start; Tim had a great wit and sense of humour and made me laugh, a lot. When my first husband, Nick, died in January 1993, Tim, along with all the other fantastic people with whom we worked, was a great support in a very dark time.

Tim and I were married in September 1994 and went on to have our three wonderful children (Ellen in 1995; Clarice in 1997; and James in 1999). We initially lived in Mistley, and then on the day that Clarice was born, we exchanged contracts for our home, Bridge House, in Higham. Tim loved it the moment we saw it, and said it was his “dream house”, not least because, with an orchard and outbuildings, he could reprise the happy times he had had as a child at his parents’ home at White Horse Farm in Laxfield, and his grandparents’ home at The Chantry in Stradbroke, by keeping chickens, geese, ducks, turkeys, guinea fowl, pigs and sheep. And with a river running through it, he could indulge his life-long love of fishing.

The most important things in Tim’s life were without doubt his family and his faith. He loved us all dearly, and often said he felt privileged to be able to help and support his parents, Hanna and Herman, in so many ways. He loved their company, and was delighted to be able to take them with us on so many wonderful trips, including to Madeira, where Herman’s family came from originally; to the Algarve, to visit Hanna’s sister Heidi and her husband John; to Canada, to visit Hanna’s great friends Sara and Manoli; and to Trinidad and Tobago, where Tim was born and where he and his family have so many wonderful memories and much loved relatives. He was a devoted and caring son-in-law to my parents, Peter and Margaret, who came to live in the adjoining converted cart lodge at Bridge House many years ago.

Tim was a great cook, the best in his family in my biased opinion, and that is a very strong field indeed. He learnt so much from his mother, Hanna, herself a brilliant cook, and frequently consulted her, especially when preparing “Trini food” such as garlic pork and pastelles at Christmas time, as well as on just about anything else the two of them turned their hands to. Tim’s barbecues, at Bridge House and at Heidi and John’s (now Patrick and Ilse’s) home in Portugal, were legendary. Our children have all inherited his love of and talent for cooking.

Tim often joked that he had “become institutionalised” as he never really “switched off” from work. His laptop always accompanied us on holiday. But the truth is, he loved his work, he was very good at it, and many of his colleagues and clients over the years became very great friends. He was always self-deprecating about his knowledge and abilities, but the truth is he was an extremely talented lawyer and a rare and unusual one, who always put his clients’ interests first and was acutely aware that he was being paid to provide a real and meaningful service. He had a great rapport with his team at Plexus and was genuinely concerned to ensure that they had opportunities to learn and to develop their own careers.

Tim was a devoted son of the Catholic Church all his life. He was proud that he had made his First Holy Communion at the Carmelite convent at Quidenham, and that Theresa Barker, the wonderful headteacher of our children’s primary school, St Mark’s, was inspired to form a close association between the school and the convent.

Tim was an altar server as a boy, and in later life, Father (now Canon) Niall Harrington, a dear friend over many years, asked him to take on the MC role at the mass for St John Payne Parish, at Ardleigh. Tim continued to serve as MC for Fr. Niall’s successor, another dear friend, Fr. Conrad Smith, and finally handed over the reins to the wonderful John Crane in more recent years. The current priest at St John Payne, Fr. Jon Ravensdale, also became a true friend of our family. Tim and I were lucky to accompany Fr. Jon on a pilgrimage to Rome and Florence a few years ago, and Fr. Jon came to Tim’s bedside in Ipswich Hospital to administer the Sacrament for the Sick a few days before Tim died. We have been extremely blessed to have made many really good friends through St John Payne parish in Mistley, Ardleigh and Greenstead (Colchester), and through St James’s parish in Ipswich, all of whom have been a great source of comfort and support.

Tim was also privileged to have spent a lot of quality time with Fr. Bineesh, the wonderful Ipswich Hospital chaplain, in his final days and hours, and as a family we will be forever grateful to Fr. Bineesh for his prayers and for his constant support at this difficult time.

Tim was a big guy with a big personality. He will leave a massive hole in all our lives and we will miss him dearly. I hope however that we can all of us cling to Tim’s philosophy that there is absolutely no point in fretting over things you cannot change. And I know we will find comfort in our many wonderful memories of happy times with him. There are so many things he said and did that still make us laugh out loud, even at this time when his loss is so raw.

Just before he went into hospital, Tim was upstairs and we called him to come and eat with us, a rare meal in our house that he had not himself either cooked or “supervised”. Ever the lover of practical jokes, he threw an empty suitcase down the stairs, crying out to make us think he had fallen and then laughing to see us all rush in horror to the foot of the stairs….

In the day or so after he died, I came across the following verse in February’s Magnificat, and I think it sums up Tim very well. It is from the first letter of St Paul to the Corinthians:

“Stay firm in the faith; be brave and be strong. Let everything you do be done in love”. Lindsay Francis, 25th February 2021

View the order of service here

Memories of a Cousin and dear Friend by Jerome Rodrigues